the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
