i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
