Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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