Where did you get a picture of my penis
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
