Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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