I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
