do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
