my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize