We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
