YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
