The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
as a side note pls kill me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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