So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
pray to the hookup gods
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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