Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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