When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
