Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
