My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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