I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Pants are for mortals
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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