Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
