Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
