I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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