Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
