Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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