I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
