i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
