if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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