question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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