The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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