i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
