How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
