I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
