Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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