She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
