More tranny stories later!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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