You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
