doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
