Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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