went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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