this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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