plz talk dirty to me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
