Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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