i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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