just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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