I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize