Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want her autograph on my taint
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
