I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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