my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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