I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
