we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Send help, water and tortillas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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