Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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