Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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