Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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