U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize