I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's like iHOP with fire
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.