Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.

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  (408): I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks. http://tfl.nu/3tl8
  Replies (12) Good night (1521) Bad night (596)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  She said her name was "party"

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  (+66): She said her name was "party" http://tfl.nu/08y0
  Replies (3) Good night (2359) Bad night (599)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow

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  (774): im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow http://tfl.nu/d8ac
  Replies (10) Good night (4376) Bad night (676)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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  (256): We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/312f
  Replies (43) Good night (6081) Bad night (824)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

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  (847): i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick. http://tfl.nu/gssh
  Replies (20) Good night (3844) Bad night (1285)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

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  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (12527) Bad night (1831)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

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  (302): he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex. http://tfl.nu/7jw4
  Replies (6) Good night (3913) Bad night (927)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.

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  (214): So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5. http://tfl.nu/y0zl
  Replies (9) Good night (5366) Bad night (887)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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  (303): Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank. http://tfl.nu/xsli
  Replies (7) Good night (1727) Bad night (646)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

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  (443): dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car http://tfl.nu/5sre
  Replies (2) Good night (1350) Bad night (748)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (15) Good night (2216) Bad night (729)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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  (908): Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more. http://tfl.nu/qarz
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (1359)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

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  (843): The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/181u
  Replies (17) Good night (1633) Bad night (749)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!

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  (817): Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly! http://tfl.nu/9don
  Replies (7) Good night (1335) Bad night (745)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.

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  (601): I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank. http://tfl.nu/0dya
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (261)

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