Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  yo i have your phone

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  ... oh so you probably won't get this message

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  (202): yo i have your phone (202):... oh so you probably won't get this message http://tfl.nu/0ifv
  Replies (14) Good night (2301) Bad night (1100)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart

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  (512): a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart http://tfl.nu/j66q
  Replies (30) Good night (660) Bad night (2808)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's just like the Real World with babies

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  (330): It's just like the Real World with babies http://tfl.nu/2wbr
  Replies (10) Good night (667) Bad night (3302)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??

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  (551): do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse?? http://tfl.nu/m371
  Replies (22) Good night (3675) Bad night (741)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow

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  (203): spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow http://tfl.nu/sj2l
  Replies (13) Good night (5445) Bad night (1126)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

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  (519): I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training http://tfl.nu/kvls
  Replies (12) Good night (3287) Bad night (1905)
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  (949): View more from California

  Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter

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  (949): Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter http://tfl.nu/gh1h
  Replies (7) Good night (885) Bad night (1602)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.

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  (610): I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it. http://tfl.nu/ip0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1943) Bad night (768)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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  (605): Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability. (1-605): Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/l83k
  Replies (10) Good night (775) Bad night (1031)
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  (209): View more from California

  Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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  (209): Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER. http://tfl.nu/edtf
  Replies (11) Good night (974) Bad night (1003)
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  (914): View more from New York

  probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.

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  (914): probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate. http://tfl.nu/x46r
  Replies (10) Good night (474) Bad night (1344)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake

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  (314): We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake http://tfl.nu/bbs3
  Replies (6) Good night (793) Bad night (483)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.

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  (902): It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch. http://tfl.nu/pix9
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (314)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.

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  (713): Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face. http://tfl.nu/94fq
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

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  (859): Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace." http://tfl.nu/re9p
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (272)

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