Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  shaved balls and baby powder=awesome

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  (571): shaved balls and baby powder=awesome http://tfl.nu/ap4d
  Replies (11) Good night (1288) Bad night (618)
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  (310): View more from California

  tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room

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  (310): tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room http://tfl.nu/5l09
  Replies (4) Good night (2401) Bad night (906)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3395) Bad night (1021)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

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  (970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n
  Replies (40) Good night (28945) Bad night (1305)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (806) Bad night (5113)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.

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  (419): The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/0i2s
  Replies (25) Good night (4606) Bad night (1509)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2293) Bad night (1130)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar

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  (571): Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar http://tfl.nu/34wt
  Replies (6) Good night (4678) Bad night (1495)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis

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  (828): Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis http://tfl.nu/fz5v
  Replies (6) Good night (6131) Bad night (950)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard

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  (630): Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard http://tfl.nu/pb8h
  Replies (7) Good night (2959) Bad night (1037)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.

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  (+64): I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable. http://tfl.nu/t0un
  Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (1166)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.

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  (440): Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved. http://tfl.nu/v30q
  Replies (3) Good night (1798) Bad night (627)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.

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  (267): I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads. http://tfl.nu/108g
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (458)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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  (603): I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success. http://tfl.nu/py46
  Replies (3) Good night (897) Bad night (461)
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  (831): View more from California

  I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.

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  (831): I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it. http://tfl.nu/3v3l
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (552)

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