I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?