Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You are the jesus of drinking
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
This toilet bowl is my home.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize