I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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