Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
