So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
