I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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