found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
