I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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