we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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