I accidentally burped into my bong.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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