Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
